SEEDS OF RESOLUTION

SEEDS mediator conducts the training for the landlords of Oakland

2011-07-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

By:Altynai Myrzabekova

On the 29^th of June, Sharon Tom, SEEDS Training Program Manager conducted training for Oakland landlords, teaching them conflict resolution skills for communicating with their tenants. During various exercises participants were facing different conflict situations and had to listen to their opponents, as it is one of the most important concepts of nonviolent conflict resolution. This was one of many trainings hosted by the Oakland Housing Authority on a monthly basis.

According to the organizers, the purpose of this particular workshop was to teach landlords how to deal with angry tenants who come to see them on the regular basis. One of the most important concepts of this training was to explain how to effectively listen to angry people and how to efficiently speak to them. As Sharon commented, finding out the underlying needs of angry tenants is the way to deescalate the anger. “I think that we achieved our purpose, because there were a lot of happy faces and people tend to be very receptive to the exercises. So, I know that they got what they needed out of it. In fact, we are planning to do some additional training for them, because of their need,” Sharon said.

Feedback from participants

“It was excellent. I think if this was out there more, a lot of landlords have an issue listening sometimes, they always think that they know better for the tenants but when you empathize with a tenant, I think they are more open to finding resolutions, because at least you are getting across with their angry. I think it was very valuable. I think I have some of these skills already but it clarified that I was doing the right things and also the paraphrasing also helps or even reusing the right words. Tenants feel that they are being listened too.” – Es Esposo, landlord

“I enjoyed the class, and I really would like to learn more as it is very useful to have phrases in a booklet. I think that prior to have scheduled meetings it will be important for me to bring the phrases and set my mind before going into a meeting. I really enjoyed and I will come to part two for sure.”- Patty Hernandez, property manager.

Rosa Parks Elementary School Welcomes Restorative Justice Team

2011-06-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

By: Altynai Myrzabekova

The 4th grade students of Rosa Parks School had a chance to learn about the Restorative Justice program at Longfellow Middle School with the help of mediators and other students. The Longfellow Restorative Justice team went to several classrooms to demonstrate the circle process to 4th grade students, where they could share
their knowledge and experience in Restorative Justice.

According to the RJ team, the initial goal of this event was to change the discipline structure at the school level and to address the “school to prison pipeline” issue that takes place in public schools in the US. The Restorative Justice Coordinator of SEEDS, Lisa Abregu, comments that students get stuck in a cycle of negative behavior that eventually lands them in adult prisons, which is why it is called the “school to prison pipeline.” Restorative Justice provides a process for addressing conflict between students that focuses on building relationships. The distinctive feature of Restorative Justice is that it addresses more the emotional needs of these children, which does not look at them simply as the rule breakers. “When you have the ability to see a student for everything that affects them, their reaction to their actions are going to be different,” Abregu said.

Why do we need Restorative Justice in schools?

As organizers comment, the Restorative Justice helps to see children as individuals who have many different factors that affect them. “It helps the staff to see them in different light. And address everything related to them in a conflict in a totally different way which keeps them out of whole pipeline going to suspension. Once in suspension, a lot of these kids who are chronic detention or suspension goers do not have much support at home, so they wander around and get into more trouble, or maybe at home there is an adult, but he or she does not have enough influence,” Abregu said. Therefore, Restorative Justice circles keep them in a healthy environment that helps them develop into the people they have a potential to be. According to Abergu, this keeps them at school and the circle process gives them context to understand themselves. So, that is why it important to have Restorative Justice Process at school.

Feedback from Longfellow students:

One student on the Longfellow Restorative Justice team commented, "I have done a circle just with my friends, without teachers, and it was a really good experience."

Another member of the Restorative Justice team at Longfellow explained to the 4th graders that "Restorative Justice is learning to communicate positively."

During the circle with Longfellow students, a 4th grader said, "empathy is where you try to learn about how someone else feels."

The team at Longfellow explained their process as follows: "At Longfellow, we meet to talk about issues and think of community builders. The goal of the Restorative Justice team is to make better communication happen."

SEEDS Program Update: Restorative Justice

2010-09-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

SEEDS’ Restorative Justice Program has two major focus areas at the moment. The first is a synergy of Longfellow Middle School and the surrounding community in South Berkeley, the other is a providing Restorative Group Conferencing (RGC) to cases referred by the Chief Juvenile District Attorney.

Longfellow Middle School & South Berkeley Community
SEEDS’ Restorative Justice Coordinator, Lisa Abregu, is working at Longfellow Middle School where SEEDS will change the model of discipline from one that can be punitive, isolating and alienating, to one that values relationships and seeks to understand the harm caused by an incident. This will result in accountability for the offender, true victim satisfaction and stronger school community with increased empathy. Our restorative circles will not only deal with discipline, they will also be used to celebrate and create shared values and guidelines. While we are in the school, we will train, mentor and support neighborhood community members as they learn restorative practices to effectively discuss current issues in their community. SEEDS will establish a neighborhood registry of facilitators that can be accessed when issues arise in the community and train Berkeley Police, Parks and Recreation, City leaders and others in our quest to make Berkeley a restorative city.

Restorative Group Conferencing (RGC)
The other major focus for our RJ program is Restorative Group Conferencing (RGC) by way of referrals form the Chief Juvenile District Attorney. When a youth is accused and arrested for a serious crime, they are diverted to our program. We meet together with the victim(s) and other affected parties to discuss what led them to commit the crime and how everyone was affected, with the possible result of creating an action plan relevant to the crime in order to repair the harm as best as possible. When completed, the referred case will be dismissed. This program removes youth from the cycle of incarceration that can start when they first have contact with the justice system thereby disrupting the school to prison pipeline.

For more information about Restorative Justice at SEEDS, go to: www.seedsrj.org

Message from Volunteer, Claudia Mar Ruiz

2010-08-04T10:21:00.000-07:00

Dear SEEDS Friend:

I’m writing to you today because I care about SEEDS, and I know you do too.

Right now, thanks to a generous offer from SEEDS board of directors, you and I can make a donation to SEEDS and see that gift doubled. For every dollar you and I give this month, board members will match it, dollar for dollar, for the first $1,000 in donations received.

I’m very motivated to help SEEDS thrive, and I hope you are too. You see, SEEDS unlocked a new world for me, a world based on effective communication practices so that we can all live in a more peaceful community.

As a non-profit, community-based agency, SEEDS has provided free and low-cost conflict resolution services since 1983. These programs are offered to people from diverse backgrounds throughout Alameda County. While SEEDS is open to any resident who needs them, I never thought I’d be walking through their doors and asking for help.

But two years ago, that’s what happened. I had just completed a three-year teaching certificate program that taught nonverbal communication through dance. I was stressed, hurt, and overcome with frustration due to an unresolved conflict I had with the director in my school.

Eventually, these feelings manifested in me physically and I was bedridden for three weeks. As you can imagine, I knew I needed help.

A friend recommended I call SEEDS. I learned that SEEDS helped thousands of people just like you and me to resolve a wide range of conflicts every year. And the need for SEEDS is growing – in fact, so far this year alone, SEEDS has handled more than 400 cases and worked with 900+ clients.

As I shared my situation, SEEDS’ skilled and supportive case developers and mediators made me feel heard, supported,validated and safe. The mediation that followed gave me a new understanding of a conflict that I realized had been brewing for years. At the end of the mediation, I left feeling at peace.

As I thought about how profoundly SEEDS had helped me, I realized I wanted to use my newfound sense of peace to help other community members find peace too, so I called SEEDS to volunteer. I now volunteer at SEEDS in the Community Mediation and Training programs, and help out with fundraising drives and events.

I deeply believe that if you transform enough individual lives, you transform an entire community. I believe in SEEDS’mission because I’ve seen first hand how it can transform a person’s life. That’s why I’m supporting SEEDS with my donations and my volunteer time, and that’s why I’m asking you to join me in supporting SEEDS too.

This year, I was invited to be on the coaching team for SEEDS’ 2010 Conflict Resolution & Mediation Skills training. As you can imagine, this was a personal highpoint for me. After all, it was just two years prior that I sat before a mediation panel myself, desperately needing help. And now, I was training participants to provide the same service – skilled mediation – that changed my life.

At SEEDS, we pride ourselves on providing our training to a diverse pool of people at affordable costs. SEEDS has already held 12 trainings so far this year. At our popular 40-hour Conflict Resolution & Mediation Skills training, SEEDS awarded full or partial scholarships to two-thirds of the participants – in fact, no one was turned away due to lack of funds thanks to the financial support of people like you and me.

I’ve realized that conflict resolution work is my forte.
As a mediator, I find I am more deeply integrated into the world. I now see myself as an instrument to promote peace. My long-term goal is to take SEEDS’ teachings to my native Colombia, so that I can offer skilled conflict resolution trainings – and ultimately, a sense of peace and possibilities – to women and even entire communities displaced by violence.

You see, this is the magic of SEEDS. When you and I make a donation, those funds not only help people in conflict right now – but also train and empower the next generation of peacemakers throughout our community, and even across the globe. As you can see, every dollar you donate today will have a peaceful impact in our society.

This is why SEEDS needs your support today – to continue fostering effective communication and conflict resolution
principles in Alameda County, and beyond.

Please visit out website, http://www.seedscrc.org/support.php, to make your gift today. And remember, SEEDS’ board of directors is providing a dollar-for-dollar matching gift for the first $1,000 in donations we receive. By giving today, you can double the impact of your gift!

Here is how your gift will make a difference for SEEDS and the people we serve. Your support will help SEEDS to:
-provide need-based scholarships for our training programs
-continue building our Restorative Justice Program
-provide complimentary training and seminars for our volunteers
-provide our services on a sliding scale
-design and launch a Spanish-language Conflict Resolution training

I believe in SEEDS, and I hope you do too, and that you find it in your heart to express that support – to invest in SEEDS’ mission – by joining me in making your donation today. While gifts of any amount are deeply appreciated, I urge you to give as generously as you can, so that others may find peace too. Thank so very much for your generous support.

In peace and gratitude,

Claudia Mar Ruiz
Volunteer at SEEDS Community Resolution Center

P.S. Please give as generously as you can today to help foster peace in our community. And remember – the first $1,000 in donations this month will be matched by SEEDS’ board of directors – a great way to double the impact of your gift! Thank you so much for your support.

Man. Alive. at the Ashby Stage

2010-03-01T15:30:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, March 26 I went to the Ashby Stage in Berkeley and was blown away by the production of “Man.Alive. Stories From The Edge Of Incarceration To The Flight Of Imagination”. The Restorative Justice non-profit organization, Community Works presented the performance by four men, three of them formerly incarcerated. The stage was bare. Occasionally the men would bring out a chair or a table. The austere atmosphere helped to conjure the prison experience. This was not just men standing on stage soliloquizing or emoting about their experience. The men worked together to create dreamlike fragments from before, during and after their time in prison and what it feels like to be targeted for “fitting the description”. What touched me the most was that they allowed themselves to be vulnerable, holding, pushing, and pulling each other. They have done a lot of personal work since prison where the “code” would never allow men to act in such an emotional and open way. The performance grew out of a workshop the men took that helped them understand their own accountability and direct their feelings into artistic creation.

Beforehand, I thought the play would consist mainly of individuals telling their stories or doing some form of spoken word. I was surprised when it began and the men were moving in interpretive ways with chairs as props. They were literally dancing with the chairs but not as if to music, more like expressing the inner monologue of confinement; the disorder, chaos and inhumanity.

Hopefully those of you that want to will get a chance to see this play. It really made an impression on me.

“Mending Wall” by Robert Frost - A Mediator’s Perspective

2010-02-24T09:13:00.000-08:00

By David Yusem, SEEDS Community Mediation and Restorative Justice Programs Manager

Mending Wall by Robert Frost

Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:

I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,

But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.

And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,

One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.

He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors.'
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.

Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say 'Elves' to him,

But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,

Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, 'Good fences make good neighbors.'

Frost’s poem is often referred to by the neighbor’s constant refrain of “Good fences make good neighbors”. In fact, in mediation, I have heard it mentioned more than once. Fence disputes are a common type of mediation request. Most people read “Mending Wall” as a tribute to fences; each person minding his/her own business and property, clearly delineating what is and is not theirs. Fences separate people and property into nice, easy to identify packages that fit our western sense of tidiness and order. Remember the suburban dream of the white picket fence? What was it the Huck Finn painted? Our collective American subconscious is imbued with the idea of the fence as being part of the American dream.

In the first two stanzas of the poem, Frost writes about how time and weather can slowly destroy a stone wall. He also talks about Hunter’s moving rocks to easier catch rabbits. Every Spring Frost and his neighbor meet to mend the wall. Each man on his own side of the wall, they walk along together carefully replacing the stones. Frost wonders to himself why they need a wall at all. There is nothing to keep in or out.

“He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.”

His neighbor’s only response is “Good fences make good neighbors”.

But Frost wants to know why.

“Isn't it where there are cows? But here there are no cows”.

Further along in the seventh stanza Frost wonders who he keeping out or in with this wall and will they take offense.

On first reading, some may see the neighbor’s repetition of his father’s old saying as an affirmation that it is good for each person to clearly know what is theirs and what is their neighbor’s, and that the separation created by the wall is good. I choose to read the poem differently. I see “Mending Wall” as a meditation on building community through strengthening relationships. I can’t help but think that Frost’s intent was to show the two men working together side by side to create something. Doing this work together bonds them in a way that only shared hard work can do. They do not need to speak or carry on a conversation. The two men spend a Spring day together creating something beautiful wearing their fingers rough. This is a dry rock wall not a chain link fence. These walls have sculptural quality to them. It is almost as if they are collaborating on an ongoing art project. Their shared sense of accomplishment will carry over into other aspects of their relationship. Like the wall, if the basis of their relationship is strong then when a few stones come loose they can work together to fix it. One can imagine that having repaired this wall together every year, they will be better able to weather conflicts that may arise in the future. Good fences make good neighbors indeed.

Happy Holidays from SEEDS

2009-12-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

Dear Friend,

This year's economic downturn has presented many opportunities for SEEDS Community Resolution Center to contribute to the greater well-being of Alameda County residents. With an uncertain economic and global environment come increased conflict and tension. You or someone close to you may have experienced conflict or been involved in a complicated dispute recently. SEEDS is here to help, providing affordable community and court mediation, support, and conflict skills training. In 2009, SEEDS served more than 2300 clients, guiding each client to a more peaceful way of resolving disagreements.

SEEDS Community Resolution Center is firmly rooted in helping to meet the needs of people in conflict and distress in Alameda County. SEEDS services encourage effective dialogue and foster solutions to a wide range of issues that arise in our communities, from reducing violence in our schools, to resolving complex workplace conflicts, to helping neighbors resolve a disagreement.

I would like to share some of our strategic plan and vision for 2010 and ask for your financial support so SEEDS can continue to seek out and seize opportunities to facilitate peaceful resolutions in Alameda County.

One of the primary themes of our 2010 strategic plan is to significantly expand the level of programs and services that integrate restorative principles and practices. Restorative Justice is a natural extension of our conflict resolution services in cultivating common ground among victims, offenders, families and community members. We've made great strides towards this objective by securing a grant from the Safeway Foundation to underwrite the training of a group of 15-20 volunteers in the Restorative Justice methodology in early 2010.

With trained Restorative Justice practitioners in place, SEEDS will take on additional cases for the restitution circle program we are piloting at the Alameda County Juvenile Justice Center. SEEDS has already been approached by several other court partners and community based organizations to start pilot programs with them as well!

Our 2010 strategic plan also includes a goal to increase the number of our community mediations and conflict resolution skills training services. SEEDS has strong partnerships with courts, schools, and other community-based agencies to deliver much needed services to their constituencies. SEEDS is currently working with Oakland Unified School District (OUSD) to resolve conflicts among faculty and staff as well as to train them to diffuse and prevent future conflict. We provided faculty and staff with a two-day Conflict Resolution Skills Workshop in early 2009 and currently have volunteer mediators working in the schools with teachers and students on constructive dialogue practices and peaceful conflict resolution. SEEDS has been asked to continue this collaboration with OUSD in 2010 and will continue to provide training, mediation, and integrative restorative practices in the schools.

To realize our strategic plan and its positive impact in our community, SEEDS needs your support today.

Your support will allow us to include Restorative Justice methodologies in our menu of conflict resolution services.

Your support will allow us to deliver more conflict resolution skills trainings to under-served communities in Alameda County.

Your support will allow us to train additional mediators to tackle difficult issues in our community, such as youth violence, racial tension, custody disputes and landlord/tenant issues.

Your support will allow us to improve the quality of our services by providing complimentary training and seminars for our volunteer mediators, coaches, and trainers.

Your support allows us to offer all of our services on a sliding scale, so that no one is turned away for inability to pay.

With your support, SEEDS can continue to cultivate common ground and sow peace in homes, neighborhoods and schools throughout Alameda County.

Please make a donation today in the envelope provided or by credit card on our website at

www.seedscrc.org/support.php.

Thank you and Happy New Year!

Sincerely,

SEEDS Staff

Peace cannot be achieved through violence – it can only be attained through understanding

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

October 15th photos up!

2009-11-23T12:15:00.000-08:00

We've posted photos and a narrative from our October 15th Cultivating Common Ground event on our website: http://www.seedscrc.org/past-events.php

Wicked & Effective Influence

2009-11-16T11:42:00.000-08:00

Nettie Pardue, Training & Facilitation Program Manager at the SEEDS Community Resolution Center

I attended Effective Influence in 2008. A few weeks ago, I found myself musing about Effective Influence as I entered the Land of Oz, in a packed Orpheum theater in San Francisco. I was going to spend an evening revisiting one of my favorite childhood movies from a different angle. From what I knew about this production going in, it was supposed to provide me with the Wicked Witch's perspective.

But why on earth would I want to understand the wicked witch? What would she have to teach me? Margaret Hamilton, the original wicked witch will always be the epitome of mean, nasty and scary to me. Child-me was always terrified of the Wicked Witch and wondered how someone could be that mean or that evil. So as I filed in with teenage girls dressed as if for prom, couples on dates, folks with silver hair or no hair a myriad of shapes, sizes and colors packed that auditorium but I was thinking about the Witches.

Most people know about Glenda the Good Witch. For the record, the wicked witch had a name too: Elphaba. Somehow it seemed significant that, though I'd watched the Wizard of Oz countless times, I didn't know her name. The adult mediator in me was startled to realize that I knew this Elphaba person only from her role as Wicked Witch; I knew nothing about who she was, what drove her, what she needed, what we might have in common. Did she have children? Get excited about accounting law? Vote the way that I would vote? Excel at persuading the flying monkeys not to make a mess of the FAA's traffic routes?

Thinking about this, I realized that, while I did know something about the personal side of Dorothy and her friends, I knew no more about the human side of Glenda than I did about the human side of Elphaba. When she appears in the film, she does so in a heavily produced, larger-than-life bubble... but, is she married? (Yes.) What does her husband do? (A derivatives trader.) Could I hire him? (No.) What schmear does she like best on her bagels if I am bringing them to a team meeting? Does she keep pugs or labradoodles? Maybe Glenda has an aging parent waiting impatiently offstage for the spectacle to end so that they could watch Larry King... or made her late and so prevented her from magicking Dorothy's house to a safe landing before it killed Elphaba's sister? After all, Glenda arrives just a little too late. Might she not have put the ruby red slippers onto her own feet if she wasn't aiming to get Dorothy in trouble? Was she secretly annoyed by how Dorothy presented herself as powerless, and gave her the slippers to make a point?

You'd only know if someone asked.

Wicked showcases the idea of understanding the other and not jumping to conclusions about each other's backgrounds, stories or histories. By remaining curious and asking, we can do this. Wicked also suggests how lack of understanding and making false assumptions can lead to hurt feelings and unforeseen consequences. If Elphaba had really listened to her sister instead of trying only to protect the people around her from her follies, might her sister not have been so embittered?

>> When people behave inexplicably or meanly or contrary to your wishes, get curious. Go with the part of you that is saying, Huh? and ask them what's up, instead of acquiescing to the part that thinks it has the other already figured out.

>> Connections make for productive teams and colleagues who open doors for you, sometimes especially because you bring a uniquely different point of view. People remember authentic moments of connection as well or better than moments of disconnection.

>> Disputes in which only the answer matters (i.e. who wins or loses) often corrode relationships: no one likes to feel as if, each time a dispute comes up, you want them to lose. Remember that the person and how they feel actually matters, too.

Sitting in that theater among teenage girls dressed as if for prom, couples on dates, folks with silver hair or no hair, people in a myriad of shapes, sizes and colors, I decided that the green-faced Elphaba should be my reminder to always consider the other person's story. She can remind me to consider what I think that I know, and how, and from what source. Elphaba will maintain my curiosity, cause me to ask questions... and seek empathy, not when I agree but especially when I don't. I'm not perfect, but that good witch Glenda, she had her flaws, too. I am no so certain that she deserves that title Good Witch anymore.

But she could just be Glenda.